Sunday August 7 & Monday August 8

Our little star has now put on ten grams each day and has now hit 1.2 kg! She still has her heart murmur but they cannot use any more medication because she's already had two courses so they are just going to wait and see how it affevts her breathing etc and she might need surgry to close it up.

Her optiflow has been turned down from 4 to 3 in order to try and stop all the air in her tummy which was causing massive explosive poos! She did one for me while her nappy was off and it shot to the end of the cot - just lovely! Her milk has also been increased to 8ml and hour from 6ml an hour which is apparently a big jump in one day, but it has meant that she's now got the long line out of her arm.

She wore her first jumpsuit that Daddy bought her on Sunday and looked so cute! She's just like a miniature baby! She is also becoming more aware of when we're there and opens her eyes a lot more and tries to follow you. On Monday Mum got an hour cuddle which was some beautiful grandma/granddaughter bonding time while I has a sleep in.

Well that's all for now she is very stable and I have been feeling a lot better about the whole situation. We are planning a night out to go to a Chinese restaurant for a group of us here at Ronnie's which will be a good excuse for all of us to get away from the hoapital and think of something else for a while.

Take care and once again we pray that Stella continues to grow strong and stay healthy.
Love Lauren

Saturday August 6, 2011

Well, Stella is unlucky (13 for those of you who aren't Dan!) days old today and it certainly wasn't a very good day.

This morning she had quite a few braddies (heartbeat slowing down heaps) and desats (oxygen levels dropping) which they initially were putting down to an increase in feeds pushing her stomach up on her lungs, however when the doctor came around.
there was a very "audible heart murmur". This means that the PDA (a valve which normally closes in a full term bub but is usually open in a prem) that was closed with medication a few days ago has reopened and is in fact bigger this time. We've been told the usual course of action is another round of mediction which means another drip in her foot, then if that doesn't work surgery to close the valve. Obviously I'm praying for the former! Harvey had the tiniest PDA and didn't need even medication, it just closed on its own.

Because of the extra pressure being put on her heart they have now turned her optiflow (breathing apparatus) up from a flow rate of 3 to 4. She seems to be quite ok on this. She is still on no oxygen just a flow of air is being pushed into her lungs to keep them expanding ss they should.

We had a lovely skin to skin cuddle this afternoon which I'm sure made us both feel good! Then I just sat there looking at her and admiring her in my arms for a while! So beautiful and so perfect in every way!

Until tomorrow, hugs and kisses,
Lauren

Thursday August 4 and Friday August 5, 2011

Thursday morning started off very eventful with the local Adelaide FM radio station broadcasting live here from Ronald McDonald House. Maccas provided brekkie and there was a wizard and craft station for the kids and manicures and hand massages for us mums. Pure bliss! Got to the NICU at around 9.30am and found that Miss Stella put on another 30 grams! Had another really long cuddle, did all her cares

(changing her nappy, washing her face and bottom, doing her temperature, changing the oximeter on her foot to the other one) all day along with the usual pumping, pumping, pumping! Her humidity on her cot was also turned off and she can now wear teeny tiny clothes! So cute!

Went to see a GP in the afternoon for some domperidone which is actually an anti nausea drug but it also boosts and maintains breast milk supply, especially when you're not actually feeding your baby. Being on it just a day has increased my already quite good milk supply and they are now freezing my excess milk but that's ok because should anything happen like my supply dropped off or I get mastitis or something we can still give her expressed breast milk (EBM) until it gets resolved.

The next exciting thing that happened at 11pm was mum arriving from Mackay! Am so blessed to have her here to help me with washing, doing groceries, etc, especially as it's taking quite a long time to recover from my caesar.

Friday morning was very exciting because I finally was able to introduce Stella to Neany! The nurse (Miriam) who was looking after Stella today was lovely and offered Mum a cuddle, which of course was accepted with gusto! After initial crying and getting all worked up for being moved, she was given her dummy and had about an hour cuddle. Miriam also took Stella's hand and fottprints which is something I always regretted not getting with Harvey.

Mark, Jenny, Max and Jen Lacey came to visit us in the afternoon and Jen and Jen came in to meet the little girl. It was so lovely to see them and to be able to thank Jenny for everything she did the night I went into labour. They bought her the nost adorable clothes and books and she's getting spoilt already - especially from Mummy Kady (surprise, surprise!)

Stella did lose 10 grams but considering the fact that she's put on so much in the last few days it's nothing to be concerned about. She's now on 6ml of milk every 4 hours but the nurses think she should probably just sit on that for another day just to not work her tummy too much.

Have been very emotional since Mum has been here. I guess it's the fact that I can have a good cry without being judged or having to be strong. It has been quite a good release for me.

Anyway, until tomorrow, we continue to pray that Stella continues to grow big and strong and remains healthy.

Hugs and kisses,
Lauren

Wednesday, 3rd August, 2011

Our "little" girl put on 110g during the night! What a fatty! She is now having 4ml every 4 hours and she's tolerated my milk really well so far! Her breathing continues as normal, nice and stable touch wood!

Got an hour cuddle last night and will have another cuddle late this afternoon. I have to go see the maternal fetal medicine team this afternoon so no doubt there'll be more tears. I had someone at the hospital who looked after Harvey a few months ago ask was I still pregnant? And I burst into tears. I can't remember feeling this sense of complete and utter failure after Harvey I was just so glad he was here and alive. This time I find it hard to even look at pictures taken the days before I had her because it makes me angry and upset. Sounds stupid probably I know, she's here and doing beautifully but this time I REALLY wanted it to be different. I had my hopes so pinned on getting a screaming baby on my chest that I could have in my room with little worry whether they would "live" and instead we have another NICU journey to ride along. My heart breaks for all those first time mums who are so, so scared as to what each day will bring, it brings back my feelings with Harvey every single day.

Speaking of Harvey he is loving 'working' with Daddy! Not so sure bouth the other way round though! They went driving today so it hopefully won't be as stressful as having him in the workshop. Dan is doing such an amazing job with him and the guilt of not being there to help eats me up. I know how I felt when I was alone for weeks with Harvey and you just want someone to share your day with and give you a break even for half an hour so you can fully tune-out and relax. He said "luv you" and kissed the phone again last night so as you can imagine the tears began to flow.

On a happy note my mum gets here tomorrow and if there's one person in the whole world that you want to be with at a time like this after your hubby and your kids it's your mum. I thank her so much for taking time off work to come and be with Miss Stella and I. She's such a supportive person who would do anything for Dan and I and I truly love and admire her for that!

Well, that's all the news for now,
Big hugs to all who are keeping up to date with our progress!
Love Lauren (and fatty Stella - who has been nicknamed Stella Bella by the nurses!) xoxo

Tuesday August 2, 2011

Stella has put on a whole 10 grams overnight! Wahoo! She is now up to 3ml of mummy's expressed breast milk every 4 hours. My day revolves around pumping, visiting Stella, feeding myself, and walking back and forth from Ronald McDonald House!

She is still only on air - no oxygen and this has been the fourth day so hopefully she will continue breathing well. They have her on a flow rate of three although they did try her on two but she started to have a few fleeting braddies (dips of the heart rate) and a series of apneas (where she decides to stop breathing for a brief moment) so they put her back up to three and she's been perfect ever since.

I'm feeling very "seedy" today. Not necessarily sad but am missing my boys like crazy! Harvey said "love you" on the phone to me and gave the phone two kisses which absolutely broke my heart and of course I was a mess then! Daddy is doing a great job working and looking after Harvey though and I'll have a real tough little boy when I get home!

Well that's all the news for now, here's praying Stella continues to grow big and strong! I'm off to the hospital now to visit Stella and pump, pump, pump! They are already starting to freeze my milk!

Love to all,
Lauren xoxo